Not long ago, a friend asked me to bake a cake for her husband’s birthday. It was relatively short notice but I was up for the challenge. You see, she had something very specific in mind and it was something I’ve never tried before…
Ask around and I think you’ll find that many bakers have been asked to bake a “dirty” cake at some point in their careers. Maybe it’s a rite of passage, I’m not sure, but I’ve thus far managed to escape such requests. Maybe it’s the classy company I keep – who knows 😉 I largely suspect that these cakes are typically of the male anatomical variety – for stagettes and showers and the like. Well,not this request.
My friend had a photo that she wanted me to base the cake on. The photo was captioned “not to be viewed at the office” or some similar warning but of course I thought, “how bad could it be” and clicked it open. Oh boy. Thankfully, the photo itself was of another cake – but…um…a very (cough) graphic cake.
Well, I love a challenge and this would be just that. Although the design itself was straightforward, there weren’t many elements to it, and the fondant and colouring were basic – there were a lot of (cough) parts to consider.
I actually had to map out the design using cut out pieces of paper that matched the cake pans, so I could figure out what went where and (cough cough) how.
Additionally, because of the short time frame, I put in a quickie order to my supplier for some skin-toned fondant – I didn’t want to have to deal with making any or worrying about colouring it myself along with all of the other things I had to do to get ready to deliver this bad boy (erm, girl). Well, if that wasn’t stressful enough, ha, the supplier sent me (instead of skin-tone) – caramel colouring. Never a good sign when the pieces aren’t falling into place and I only have hours to work with – I had to whip up my own fleshy fondant. That actually went surprisingly well. If you’re ever trying to recreate skin tone – yellows and soft pinks are the way to go. Even the ECBF was amazed at how easily that went. Oh – let’s talk about him for a moment, shall we?
As you know, the ECBF hates cake projects. He has said, many times, that things get a little “dramatic” around the house when I’m working on a project like this. But I tricked him into staying home the night I was making this cake – granted, he fell asleep on the couch, but I wanted to prove to him that I could do this job without having a massive panic attack at midnight because things weren’t going as planned and I was having some kind of caketastrophe meltdown. This cake went smoothly after the caramel fondant problem was easily dispensed with.
Chocolate cake body with vanilla buttercream, and RKT (cough COUGH) boobs – this was a masterpiece. I wish I could show you the finished product in its entirety but unfortunately, the anatomical correctness of it, ironically, makes it politically incorrect. And, inappropriate, for that matter.
Again, I learned a thing or two while building this beauty – and although if I had to do it again tomorrow, I would do things slightly differently to save a few steps, and improve on a few things, I’m very pleased with the end result. This was a win, in my mind, and I needed a win after how I felt (whether warranted or not) about the cake from last weekend.
I hope my friend’s husband enjoys eating this one (I can’t believe I just typed that) as much as I enjoyed creating it for him. It was a fun project, and now I can cross “dirty” cake off my bakery bucket list.