Coconut Cream Liar

Oh boy.  I’m a liar.

I rushed home late for dinner tonight and had promised the Blond we would make a pie.  Not just a pie.  A layered strawberry blueberry coconut cream pie from my absolute favourite blogger, Sugar Plum.  What the fajita was I thinking?  I found the recipe online here, and printed it and showed it to him about a week ago.  We were pumped.  It was going to be our Thursday night plan while we watched the Jet game.

Here’s the thing about the Blond – and one of the reasons we make such a great team in the kitchen.  He’s about as OCD as 10 year olds come.  If the recipe says unsalted butter, by golly we better have unsalted butter (I feel the same way, btw).  The problem with this type of conviction is that when I have to <ahem> cut some corners to save time, or modify ingredients, he’s not on board.  Nope.  Doesn’t like it.  Not one bit.  Not at all.

So…in my panic to make this recipe work, I may or may not have ripped the ‘crust’ portion of the recipe off the page and shoved it back into the plastic sleeve as I urgently barked orders to the ECBF to run to Galen’s to pick up a pie crust.  A frozen pie crust <audible gasp>.  He rushed off and I ran around trying to figure out a way to make a 4-hour recipe in the one hour and 45 minutes before I needed to put the Blond to bed.

The ECBF comes tearing into the kitchen with the bag of groceries.  These were the planned substitutions:

Homemade pie crust = frozen Tenderflake crust

Coconut Cream Custard = whipped cream with coconut milk and coconut emulsion

Blueberries = bananas (I know, it was a stretch, but luckily the Blond hates blueberries so he pretended not to notice)

Strawberries cooked with pectin = frozen strawberries in the microwave for about 10 minutes and then strained

Yup, this was about to happen.  The recipe went in the garbage – I was flying by the seat of my burning pants (see what I did there?).

But the ECBF came tearing in a little too fast.  The bag maybe got knocked around a bit.  The frozen pie crust got knocked around too – and it broke.  Oh, fantastic.  Here I am, trying to put together the puzzle pieces of the frozen pie crust and the ECBF is trying to distract the Blond so I can fix this thing before we have a situation on our hands.

Situation averted – the pie actually turned out quite lovely.  More importantly, it turned out quite lovely before 9:00.

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The pictures aren’t the greatest.  The Blond was blocking all the good light.  The pie was delicious AND it got some fruit, coconut milk, and coconut into the Blond’s belly.  Win.  I only had a mild panic attack in the making of this pie basically throwing everything I know about following a recipe out the window in favour of the eccentricities of a 10 year old.  Whatever.

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